The secrets to a happy marriage have been revealed and a key piece of advice is to marry someone who is just like you!
Renowned gerontologist Karl A. Pillemer interviewed more than one thousand Americans over the age of 65 to get advice on all of life’s issues, from family and marriage to money and careers,
Using this wisdom Pillemer went on to write a best selling book ‘30 Lessons for Living’ and has been making the news all around the world.
In an interview with the Washington Post Pillemer dished out some very useful advice in regards to who makes the perfect long term marriage partner:
“One of the most surprising findings from the surveys is this: Based on 40, 50, or 60 years of marriage the elders say say: Marry someone a lot like you.
Opposites attract, but they don’t make for long marriages. Find someone of similar background, interests, and most of all values.”
When it comes down to values, it’s important that your partner shares the same life values as you too.
“As one 80+ year old told me: “If you’re a big spender, he’s got to be a big spender. That kind of thing.” When people shared similar core values, they were most likely to say: “We really don’t fight.”
And while some differences in more minor things like specific interests can enhance a marriage, research generally shows that marriages in which people are more generally similar work out better.
Are you and your partner like chalk and cheese? Don’t cancel the wedding just yet as Pillemer does concede that the ‘marry someone like you’ rule doesn’t always apply, adding:
That said: sometimes love conquers all, but the elders just want you to know that married life is likely to be harder with someone who is very different from you.