Getting married is a big decision so make sure you ask your partner these questions before getting married
We don’t mean to scare you, but it’s more than just a wedding day – you’re promising to love, honour and cherish this one person for the rest of your life, until death do you part.
So of course, you want to make absolutely sure that you’re doing the right thing.
That’s why we’ve outlined eight key marriage deal breakers below. Ask your partner these questions and really, deeply evaluate your feelings on each topic. If you’re with the right person, we guarantee you’ll emerge from this feeling better and more confident than before about tying the knot.
8 questions to ask your partner before getting married
1. Why are we doing this?
It sounds like a pretty big existential question, but let’s be honest here – why are you getting married? Is it for religious reasons? Financial? Is it for security in your relationship? Do you want to start a family? Or does it just feel right? Think about it and decide if marriage is the next step in your relationship.
2. Do you want children?
This is a major deal breaker. If you want kids and he doesn’t, or vice versa, this will cause a lot of tension in your relationship, especially if neither of you are open to changing your mind. Tension leads to resentment, which can kill a relationship, so ensure that you’re on the same page when it comes to starting a family.
3. Where are we going to live?
Many couples will already have lived together before getting married, but if not, you should be thinking ‘your place or mine’? Sometimes its better to begin married life in a new, neutral space that belongs to both of you, so there’s no territorial issues and you can start your routines from scratch.
4. How are we going to organise our finances?
Money causes so many arguments, so tackling the subject early on will help put a stop to any fights. Are you going to have a joint account? If so, how much will you both contribute to it? If not, how are you going to manage the expenses. It’s a difficult thing to talk about, but it needs to be done.
5. When are we going to spend time together?
Making time for each other is really important to help your relationship grow and keep the romance alive. If you both work long hours; schedule time for dates, or walks, or movie nights – it doesn’t matter what you do, any time spent together will make you feel closer. Just do us a favour – put your phones down and actually look at each other’s faces!
6. Do you like my family?
If one of you has a problem with the in-laws, this is going to be a headache for your partner who will feel caught in the middle. In a perfect world, everyone would love their in-laws and you’d all be one big happy family, but often this isn’t the case. And if this sounds familiar to you, we suggest that you find a way to tolerate them without causing any stress, or set boundaries for how much they can interfere with your life.
7. Are you happy with our sex life?
There is just no point in lying – sex is really important in every relationship. Find out if you’re both satisfied and if there are any issues, or suggestions you have, you MUST discuss these. Think about it – sex is the most intimate thing two people can do, so why on earth can’t they talk about it?! Make sure there’s an open dialogue on the subject. You might think that there’s a certain bedroom issue that could potentially ruin your relationship, when in fact, all you need to do is bring it to your partner’s attention. Have a chat and see what happens.
8. Am I your best friend?
You often hear the secret to a successful marriage is marrying your best friend. Ask yourself if you could live without this person and ask your partner if they could live without you. You’re spending every day with him/her for the rest of your life, so you need someone you can have a great relationship with, even when you’re not being romantic. You want to be with someone that you can talk to about anything, or just sit in comfortable silence with. You want a partner who makes you laugh so loud and hard everyday, but is also a shoulder to cry on. If this sounds like your guy/girl, we’re pretty sure you’ve found your soulmate.