There’s no crystal ball to foresee what will happen after you tie the knot, but there are some things we think you should know before you get married.
Finding time for each other takes work
There’s an endless array of things that can dominate your time ahead of your partner- your career, your friends, your children and even your own self can come before making an effort to spend time together. The one thing to keep in mind when it comes to time is that we all have the same amount, and learning how to distribute it accordingly is a lifelong challenge. Be sure to try and schedule date nights where it’s just the two of you, or find a hobby/sport you both enjoy so you have a constant, committed event to experience together.
If it’s not making you happy, you need to re-evaluate what you want
At the end of the day, couples get married for one reason- their significant other makes them happy. Happiness is one of the biggest factors in achieving a successful, enhancing relationship and love is a key denomination of that. That said, it’s not only about YOUR happiness, it’s about THEIRS too.
No one know the ins and outs of your marriage but you
It’s easy to listen to marriage advice from your mum, sister, uncle, friend, or acquaintance, but at the end of the day no one knows your marriage except you. Before you walk down the aisle remember that, and keep it in mind when times get tough and you are tempted to import other couples experiences into your own. Use your better judgement in all situations and remember who your partner is before you make any big decisions.
There’s no scorecard
Don’t let fights tally up and become points in a match. Arguments are commonplace in modern households and keeping track of who wins a particular one at a particular moment is time-consuming and unnecessary. Start each day fresh and you’ll avoid resentment down the line.
Responsibilities aren’t owned
Just because someone does something once, it doesn’t mean they’re going to do something every time and it isn’t fair to expect it. This goes for the menial (making coffee in the morning) to the extravagant (booking holidays) and the downright irritating (sitting in traffic to pick kids up from school).
Compliments make the world of difference
Even if someone visibly cringes when you give them a compliment they’ve still noted that you’ve made the effort to notice and voice that compliment. Whether it’s an outfit choice, a hair cut, or a smart decision. Just because you’ve tied the knot it doesn’t mean the compliments have to end, or you have to fall into mundane existence. Try to notice when your partner makes an effort and hope that in turn they will do the same.
People can change what they want
And so can you. We always recommend going into a marriage with your eyes wide open in terms of long-term plans and where you see your future, but people’s priorities can change over time. Whether it’s committing to having children or moving overseas for a new experience, big life decisions are subject to change over time as people develop. Always keep an open mind about your own options, and your partners.
That honeymoon phase ends
It sounds like a trivial, moot point but it’s worth pointing out that that honeymoon feeling does fade with time. It’s easy to forget that when you’re caught up in that ‘newly-engaged’ glow and ‘wedding day euphoria’ but eventually the realities of real-life do come to the forefront of any relationship. That said, fear not ladies and gents as that honeymoon feeling is replaced by a familiar comfort that can feel a lot more satisfying than a new connection as its something that builds with time.
There’s no one person in marriage and almost every decision you used to make on your own will now have to involve another person. We don’t mean the little things, like what to buy at the supermarket for tea, but the bigger issues like career shifts, housing options and financial investments. This can be daunting for individuals who had been single for a while or were fairly independent, so make sure when you tie the knot you are open and aware to incorporating another person into your future plans (and the fact that they may not always agree with what you want…).
No one will love you like your significant other
When you tie the knot you make a new extension of your own family, with a new type of love involved. The love between a husband and wife is very different to a father and daughter or mother and son, so embrace the difference and realise that this is someone you chose- not something you were born into. At the end of the day, no one will ever love you like your husband or wife and when you make your vows you make them forever.